Where You Are

I drove as fast as I could,

though I knew you were gone.

What would I say

If I had gotten my goodbye?

There would be no words to keep you here

and they would not be enough

to express my love and gratitude.

I stood by your body,

and kissed your cold shell.

It was no longer you.

Where are you?

Sitting curled up in your chair

in wee hours of that morn,

watching Grandma slip into the fog of loneliness,

I waited for you to walk into the room.

You never did.

I waited, all that week

as I stayed at your house,

planning your final service.

But you never came.

Planning that service was the last thing

I wanted to do...

but it was the last thing

that I was honored to do for you.

I did it just the way you would have wanted.

Yet, I still waited for you.

I took Grandma to get something red to wear,

and hoped that you'd join us.

You didn't.

I bought a new dress and wore the shoes

that I wore to your birthday party.

I hoped that you would be there to see me.

I sat at your casket side, singing for you.

I went to your graveside, crying for you.

I left your body there, sobbing for you.

But you weren't there.

I go back to your house

and I still look.

Even though I know exactly where to find you,

and it is nowhere near me.